Questions To Ask The Friends and Allies of Your Enemy!
· Did you hear what happened to me? (If they weren’t present during the incident). Or say, "Can you believe what happened? (If they were present during the incident)
· You know I trust your opinion. What do you think about what (name) did or said to me?
· Would you have taken it the same way?
· I keep going over things in my head and still can’t figure this out. I’m really surprised by his/her comments (or actions). Why do you think she said (or did) that?
· Is it me or is he/she always like that?
· If they say they believe it’s your issue, ask for a reason and politely question anything that sounds suspicious or correct any lies told to them by your enemy (which might explain why they blame you for the incident, if they do).
· If they say it’s not you, ask who else your enemy has or has had a problem with (especially problems that’s similar to your case).
· I think he/she is going to formally write me up. Has he/she said anything to you about it?
· I think he/she is going to the Director about this. Did she say anything to you about that?
· I may be forced to report this. If you were me, what would you do about what (NAME) has done?
Hopefully, you see where this line of questioning is going.
· You’re trying to get to know your enemy better, from his/her own friend or ally.
· You’re trying to see what your enemy’s motivations are and where their head is at.
· You’re trying to uncover anyone else they’ve had similar experiences with, so you can track their negative and inappropriate work behavior. And, you want to know about any of their future plans for you.
More importantly, if your enemy tries to use deniability as a defense (e.g., by saying, “I don’t know what she’s talking about.” or “Nothing happened.”), you can use a friend or ally’s comments to support your case by saying something like, “Well, one of his/her confidantes told me this person has a pattern of this behavior. This is not the first time this has happened. He/She has done it to me and other people and I can prove it.”
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING YOUR ENEMY'S FRIENDS AND ALLIES TELL YOU! They don't know that you are using them to build a case against a person. Even if you never file a grievance, it's best to have as much inside information as you can.
The final part of this post will be available tomorrow.