QUICK TIPS: TALK IT OVER
There are lots of issues that come up at work that would rightly justify people getting hot under the collar. But, for African Americans, who have many popular and negative stereotypes associated with our race, getting angry at work is a tricky situation to deal with. Nearly everything said or done by an African American, that is not appreciated by someone White, is often falsely attributed to that Black person being “angry” or “defensive” or “mean” or “nasty.” Unfortunately, that is our lot in life. Blacks are the owners of angriness. We’ve cornered the market on anger, if you listen to some White people talk.
Whether you’re a person whose anger goes the route of a slow boil or if you are hot-tempered, when you absolutely feel like you’re about to lose it, one of the best things to do is to talk to a trusted coworker or friend about what’s bothering you—BEFORE YOU REACT OR RESPOND TO THE INSTIGATOR THAT PISSED YOU OFF! Here are some tips:
Tip #1: Speak to someone with more experience than yourself, who may have been involved in similar situations and is able to give you perspective on what has happened and how you should respond—if at all. If you don’t have a more senior coworker or friend to speak to, at the very least talk to someone with values, a work ethic, and a level of professionalism that are similar to your own. This way, you know you can trust their opinion and advice.
Tip #2: If you are working in an atmosphere where you feel people have an agenda against you, you don’t necessarily want to vent your frustrations with anyone who’s working for the same employer. Sometimes it’s a good idea to talk to a friend outside your job.
Tip #3: Let your friend or coworker read a nasty email/other document or talk to them about any negative interaction you may have had with a coworker. See if your friend thinks you’re overreacting or if you really have an issue you should address.
Remember, you are looking for an objective opinion, but, ultimately, you have to trust your own instincts. Your friend or coworker may not know the person you’re discussing as well as you do or may not understand the dynamics of your office. If after talking it over, you feel you need to respond, you should be professional, direct, and respond promptly.
Whether you’re a person whose anger goes the route of a slow boil or if you are hot-tempered, when you absolutely feel like you’re about to lose it, one of the best things to do is to talk to a trusted coworker or friend about what’s bothering you—BEFORE YOU REACT OR RESPOND TO THE INSTIGATOR THAT PISSED YOU OFF! Here are some tips:
Tip #1: Speak to someone with more experience than yourself, who may have been involved in similar situations and is able to give you perspective on what has happened and how you should respond—if at all. If you don’t have a more senior coworker or friend to speak to, at the very least talk to someone with values, a work ethic, and a level of professionalism that are similar to your own. This way, you know you can trust their opinion and advice.
Tip #2: If you are working in an atmosphere where you feel people have an agenda against you, you don’t necessarily want to vent your frustrations with anyone who’s working for the same employer. Sometimes it’s a good idea to talk to a friend outside your job.
Tip #3: Let your friend or coworker read a nasty email/other document or talk to them about any negative interaction you may have had with a coworker. See if your friend thinks you’re overreacting or if you really have an issue you should address.
Remember, you are looking for an objective opinion, but, ultimately, you have to trust your own instincts. Your friend or coworker may not know the person you’re discussing as well as you do or may not understand the dynamics of your office. If after talking it over, you feel you need to respond, you should be professional, direct, and respond promptly.
posted by S. Mary Wills at 1:46 PM
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