BLACKS SHOULD AVOID: REPEATED ATTEMPTS TO "DILUTE" THEIR BLOOD
Here is one of the most embarrassing behaviors to observe in the workplace…
An African American who is so self-loathing that they have to repeatedly tell every coworker that they are not 100% Black! I’m sure you’ve heard it all before:
“My great-grandmother is Italian.”
“My grandfather was Cherokee!”
“I’m actually West Indian. Yeah! We looked up my family tree and found out that my grandmother was from Barbados.”
Guess what? No one cares…ESPECIALLY YOUR WHITE COWORKERS!! I don’t care what complexion you are, how "fine" your facial features are or how “good” your hair is…when it’s all said and done, if you’re dealing with a racist, you cannot dilute your bloodline enough to prevent that person from hating your guts and actively targeting you for unequal or illegal treatment.
My sister once said to me, “Black people don’t seem to get it. The only difference between someone who is “totally” Black and someone who is allegedly of mixed race is…one is going to be lynched at high noon and the other will be lynched at midnight. One person may be seen as a priority, but they’re both still gonna hang!”
My sister is absolutely right. So, shut up trying to make White people fall in love with you based on your allegations that you are more like them than you are like other minorities. And, no, nobody wants to see your family photo album/proof that someone White is a member of your family. Big deal! As a result of the massive rapes that occurred during slavery and the intermingling of freed slaves and Native peoples, many African Americans have “something else” in their blood. I don’t care how dark, nappy headed or unattractive any self-hating person perceives other Blacks to appear. Many African Americans have so-called mixed blood. You are not special because you may claim to be or actually are mixed! Grow the f--- up!
You cannot often look and tell who has exactly what heritage. And, why does it matter? You’re in the workplace and you should be willing to be judged on your work. Instead, you’re trying to prove your acceptability by denying/diluting/marginalizing part of who you are. And, you’re not fooling anyone. Nor are you getting away with anything. If your racial breakdown really matters to someone…you are already non-existent in their eyes. What’s the saying? If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. Well, if they have to wonder, than you’re not…no matter what you rightly or wrongly claim to be.
The thing is, the people who act this way…many times people aren’t even asking them what their identify is. They’re just throwing it into conversations. They’re forcing this discussion on other staff. And, half the time, White folks still don’t believe them. I’ve had White staff come up to me and say, “You know so and so told me that she’s part Chinese.” And, they say this stuff with a smirk. They’re laughing at the person and the person’s need to share this with them. But, what’s most telling was that they repeated the person’s allegations to another so-called minority. When I’ve been asked, the White person wanted to see what I would say. In other words, would I validate what they were told or would I dime the person out as a liar. I don’t comment. And, I don’t like to see someone turning themselves into an office joke.
So, please do not keep mentioning being the product of a multi-ethnic background. We heard you the first time…and the 20th time! You are allegedly Native American, and/or White and/or Hispanic/Latino and/or Asian. So, stop bringing this up at meetings and stop bringing this up on conference calls, at lunch, on breaks, at the copier, etc. This behavior is the hallmark of a sick individual, who should be extremely desirous of some mental health intervention! That is not a joke. If you have to announce your racial identity, over and over again, you are insecure, weak-minded, have no idea who you are or what your purpose is, and you far too dependent on receiving the outside validation and approval of others. You need help! You need to ask yourself, “What is my point and why do I hate myself?”
I once worked with an African American who claimed to be so many other ethnic races; I don’t think she even existed. She claimed to be part Black, Irish, German, Native American, Chinese, Portuguese, and English Blue Blood (whatever the hell that is!). If what she said was true, she was literally nothing! But, she preferred being nothing to being Black.
So, take my loving advice:
The workplace is not the proper venue to repeatedly reveal your psychosis to others! Under what circumstances at work is this sort of routine “I’m not really Black” discussion warranted? The answer is: none. Say it once, if you must, and move on to showing people what you can actually do to earn your salary and any special benefits in the workplace. And, keep this in mind…no matter how special you think you are because of your racial makeup, you are no better and no worse than any other African American. At least, not based on that!
An African American who is so self-loathing that they have to repeatedly tell every coworker that they are not 100% Black! I’m sure you’ve heard it all before:
“My great-grandmother is Italian.”
“My grandfather was Cherokee!”
“I’m actually West Indian. Yeah! We looked up my family tree and found out that my grandmother was from Barbados.”
Guess what? No one cares…ESPECIALLY YOUR WHITE COWORKERS!! I don’t care what complexion you are, how "fine" your facial features are or how “good” your hair is…when it’s all said and done, if you’re dealing with a racist, you cannot dilute your bloodline enough to prevent that person from hating your guts and actively targeting you for unequal or illegal treatment.
My sister once said to me, “Black people don’t seem to get it. The only difference between someone who is “totally” Black and someone who is allegedly of mixed race is…one is going to be lynched at high noon and the other will be lynched at midnight. One person may be seen as a priority, but they’re both still gonna hang!”
My sister is absolutely right. So, shut up trying to make White people fall in love with you based on your allegations that you are more like them than you are like other minorities. And, no, nobody wants to see your family photo album/proof that someone White is a member of your family. Big deal! As a result of the massive rapes that occurred during slavery and the intermingling of freed slaves and Native peoples, many African Americans have “something else” in their blood. I don’t care how dark, nappy headed or unattractive any self-hating person perceives other Blacks to appear. Many African Americans have so-called mixed blood. You are not special because you may claim to be or actually are mixed! Grow the f--- up!
You cannot often look and tell who has exactly what heritage. And, why does it matter? You’re in the workplace and you should be willing to be judged on your work. Instead, you’re trying to prove your acceptability by denying/diluting/marginalizing part of who you are. And, you’re not fooling anyone. Nor are you getting away with anything. If your racial breakdown really matters to someone…you are already non-existent in their eyes. What’s the saying? If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. Well, if they have to wonder, than you’re not…no matter what you rightly or wrongly claim to be.
The thing is, the people who act this way…many times people aren’t even asking them what their identify is. They’re just throwing it into conversations. They’re forcing this discussion on other staff. And, half the time, White folks still don’t believe them. I’ve had White staff come up to me and say, “You know so and so told me that she’s part Chinese.” And, they say this stuff with a smirk. They’re laughing at the person and the person’s need to share this with them. But, what’s most telling was that they repeated the person’s allegations to another so-called minority. When I’ve been asked, the White person wanted to see what I would say. In other words, would I validate what they were told or would I dime the person out as a liar. I don’t comment. And, I don’t like to see someone turning themselves into an office joke.
So, please do not keep mentioning being the product of a multi-ethnic background. We heard you the first time…and the 20th time! You are allegedly Native American, and/or White and/or Hispanic/Latino and/or Asian. So, stop bringing this up at meetings and stop bringing this up on conference calls, at lunch, on breaks, at the copier, etc. This behavior is the hallmark of a sick individual, who should be extremely desirous of some mental health intervention! That is not a joke. If you have to announce your racial identity, over and over again, you are insecure, weak-minded, have no idea who you are or what your purpose is, and you far too dependent on receiving the outside validation and approval of others. You need help! You need to ask yourself, “What is my point and why do I hate myself?”
I once worked with an African American who claimed to be so many other ethnic races; I don’t think she even existed. She claimed to be part Black, Irish, German, Native American, Chinese, Portuguese, and English Blue Blood (whatever the hell that is!). If what she said was true, she was literally nothing! But, she preferred being nothing to being Black.
So, take my loving advice:
The workplace is not the proper venue to repeatedly reveal your psychosis to others! Under what circumstances at work is this sort of routine “I’m not really Black” discussion warranted? The answer is: none. Say it once, if you must, and move on to showing people what you can actually do to earn your salary and any special benefits in the workplace. And, keep this in mind…no matter how special you think you are because of your racial makeup, you are no better and no worse than any other African American. At least, not based on that!
posted by S. Mary Wills at 12:04 PM
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