Labels and Stereotypes - The Excuses: He/She Really Isn't Like That!
Yes, the next line of defense (following telling a Black worker that something offensive wasn’t meant “like that” and that Blacks shouldn’t “take something that way”) is telling an African American that someone who said something offensive…
Really Isn’t Like That
This one is a favorite of mine, especially when one White person—who wasn’t even around when an incident took place—is using this defensive tactic to provide an on-site character reference for another White worker. It’s really a joy when the “defender” is the presumed neutral head of a department or a supervisor.
Boy, I can’t tell you how good it feels to hear that someone who treats you with total disrespect “really isn’t like that.” And, members of management will make this declaration as if a Black worker is supposed to say, “Oops! My bad. If you think the person is cool, you must be absolutely right. I guess the problem is me!”
So, a Black worker makes a complaint and has to sit in a meeting and endure such defensive comments (from management) as:
· “He/She really isn’t like that.”
· “You probably just misunderstood.”
· “Maybe he/she misspoke.”
· “It’s just simple miscommunication.”
· “He/She really is sweet/ a sweetheart.”
The more racial overtones there are to what was said or done to a Black person, the longer the list of quotes becomes in the person’s defense. This excuse is all about making the Black worker look like they’re overreacting and does nothing to address the behavior of the person who offended them. After being told someone “really isn’t like that” everything is supposed to be water under the bridge. You see, what the Black person feels is irrelevant—even though offensive behavior is supposed to be considered from the “victim’s” perspective and not from the perspective of the offender.
The truth is, when it comes to harassment of any kind, a person’s intent is irrelevant. The impact to the victim is the main concern. Yet, a Black worker’s feelings will often be marginalized at every turn for complaining about mistreatment or misconduct by a White person. This is likely due to the many stereotypes about Blacks being sensitive, hypersensitive, having chips on our shoulders, being angry, defensive or any of the other labels previously discussed in this chain of posts.
The reality is that far too many Whites in the workplace feel they need to validate the feelings of Blacks workers as if our statements or perceptions are completely lacking any merit unless we are agreed with by the White corporate status quo. If our “feelings” or perceptions are not validated by management, the African American is assumed, and often is accused, of being the problem or trying to cause a workplace problem.
If He/She really isn’t like that, the Black worker must be “like that” (read: a problem employee).
The next defense will be…I Misspoke!
Really Isn’t Like That
This one is a favorite of mine, especially when one White person—who wasn’t even around when an incident took place—is using this defensive tactic to provide an on-site character reference for another White worker. It’s really a joy when the “defender” is the presumed neutral head of a department or a supervisor.
Boy, I can’t tell you how good it feels to hear that someone who treats you with total disrespect “really isn’t like that.” And, members of management will make this declaration as if a Black worker is supposed to say, “Oops! My bad. If you think the person is cool, you must be absolutely right. I guess the problem is me!”
So, a Black worker makes a complaint and has to sit in a meeting and endure such defensive comments (from management) as:
· “He/She really isn’t like that.”
· “You probably just misunderstood.”
· “Maybe he/she misspoke.”
· “It’s just simple miscommunication.”
· “He/She really is sweet/ a sweetheart.”
The more racial overtones there are to what was said or done to a Black person, the longer the list of quotes becomes in the person’s defense. This excuse is all about making the Black worker look like they’re overreacting and does nothing to address the behavior of the person who offended them. After being told someone “really isn’t like that” everything is supposed to be water under the bridge. You see, what the Black person feels is irrelevant—even though offensive behavior is supposed to be considered from the “victim’s” perspective and not from the perspective of the offender.
The truth is, when it comes to harassment of any kind, a person’s intent is irrelevant. The impact to the victim is the main concern. Yet, a Black worker’s feelings will often be marginalized at every turn for complaining about mistreatment or misconduct by a White person. This is likely due to the many stereotypes about Blacks being sensitive, hypersensitive, having chips on our shoulders, being angry, defensive or any of the other labels previously discussed in this chain of posts.
The reality is that far too many Whites in the workplace feel they need to validate the feelings of Blacks workers as if our statements or perceptions are completely lacking any merit unless we are agreed with by the White corporate status quo. If our “feelings” or perceptions are not validated by management, the African American is assumed, and often is accused, of being the problem or trying to cause a workplace problem.
If He/She really isn’t like that, the Black worker must be “like that” (read: a problem employee).
The next defense will be…I Misspoke!
posted by S. Mary Wills at 10:21 AM
1 Comments:
They are never like that, if you let them tell it. We always got the wrong impression of someone white but the truth is that we peeped their card and they can't stand that we can see right through them.
Post a Comment
<< Home