Labels and Stereotypes - The Excuses: Don't Take It That Way!
Yesterday, we looked at one of the employer mind-games that are used to make Black employees believe that they are totally misreading a situation. Yes, the first excuse amounted to acknowledging that someone said "something," but it wasn't really what they meant. While, some employers choose to pretend they misspoke, others will put the blame squarely on the backs of African American workers. If you’ve been working in corporate America for any length of time and you’ve had to confront something offensive that was said to you, you’ve probably heard this line before…
Don’t Take It That Way!
I don’t know what it means for the rest of the world’s population, but when a Black worker is told not to take something “that way,” it means that person is being accused of being way too sensitive, is letting their emotions get the best of them, and blowing things way out of proportion.
Apparently, the problem starts and ends with the recipient of the information (read: the Black worker), instead of the issue being blamed on the person who was doing the talking.
When a Black worker is told not to take something offensive “that way,” it means that no one at the company plans on apologizing for any offense that has been caused. In fact, the person taking things “that way” is going to watch as their reaction is spotlighted as the only issue that requires management to step in and offer a solution. Not only will the African American be told they shouldn’t take things “that way,” but they may also hear other critiques, such as that they “can’t take criticism,” they are “way too literal,” etc.
The problem will be laughed off and the African American will be made to feel as if they have essentially been forgiven for being offended by something a coworker has said—that was offensive. It’s the Jedi Mind Trick at its best!
The next corporate defense line will be included in tomorrow’s post. It’s more of the same. You know, that Blacks are unable to process information correctly. If you’ve heard the line about I/He/She/We Not Really Meaning It Like That, then you’ve likely heard the other defense…
He/She Really Isn’t Like That
Don’t Take It That Way!
I don’t know what it means for the rest of the world’s population, but when a Black worker is told not to take something “that way,” it means that person is being accused of being way too sensitive, is letting their emotions get the best of them, and blowing things way out of proportion.
Apparently, the problem starts and ends with the recipient of the information (read: the Black worker), instead of the issue being blamed on the person who was doing the talking.
When a Black worker is told not to take something offensive “that way,” it means that no one at the company plans on apologizing for any offense that has been caused. In fact, the person taking things “that way” is going to watch as their reaction is spotlighted as the only issue that requires management to step in and offer a solution. Not only will the African American be told they shouldn’t take things “that way,” but they may also hear other critiques, such as that they “can’t take criticism,” they are “way too literal,” etc.
The problem will be laughed off and the African American will be made to feel as if they have essentially been forgiven for being offended by something a coworker has said—that was offensive. It’s the Jedi Mind Trick at its best!
The next corporate defense line will be included in tomorrow’s post. It’s more of the same. You know, that Blacks are unable to process information correctly. If you’ve heard the line about I/He/She/We Not Really Meaning It Like That, then you’ve likely heard the other defense…
He/She Really Isn’t Like That
posted by S. Mary Wills at 1:51 PM
1 Comments:
Hello Mary:
I went to a meeting where the presenter was discussing how to get along with all personalities in project management. One of the personalities discussed was the person who says things that need to be said. The example she used at the time was Bill Cosby and what he said about poor people and how that was something that needed to be said. During question and answer I told her that I had been offeneded by her reference since I was a single mother and had gone through bad times at different periods of my life. Her response was I had misunderstood her reference. At the end of the presentation she recieved thunderous claps from the majority white audience and a black woman walked up to me and told me that maybe I needed to go to the minority version of the meeting, an asian walked up to me and started talking to me about being the only woman at her job and in her graduating class, and a white woman came up and apologized to me. I am so grateful for your post because since this incident I've been feeling as if I had the problem.
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