The More Things Change...

In the midst of dealing with my mom’s hospitalization, I also had to deal with starting a new job. Lo and behold, in the very first week, I was reminded that the more things change, the more they stay the same. It’s a cliché for a reason. It’s often true!

I went to training with 2 other new hires (Black and Hispanic). We have a White, male supervisor. It didn’t take three days of employment before he began spewing outright lies, repeatedly contradicted previous instructions and comments, and began to show that he is very manipulative. He did all of these things as he shot off one “joke” after another. In the midst of a corny joke was a lie or manipulation.

Now, I’m not saying he did these things because he’s White or male. Maybe the guy is just an a**hole. Maybe he’s bipolar. There could be a thousand maybe scenarios that could explain why he is behaving this way. All I know is…

He’s already being documented.

I have seen and heard enough from this person that there isn’t much he can say or do that I won’t commit to writing. The hairs have risen on the back of my neck. And, I have begun to maintain tracking sheets.

I am documenting the instructions and then the lies or manipulations about those instructions. I am documenting how he has manipulated reality in order to make a spontaneously false accusation. For instance, saying that the 3 new hires had “a whole week” to do something, when in fact we only had been working on the assignment for 3 days. At the time he made the “whole week” comment, it was the morning of the third day. So, it was not even 3 full days.

This is the type of stuff that makes me and should make you very cautious of this type of individual. When someone is willing to blatantly lie and they can do it with a straight face, you have to be very careful with this person.

Is he a racist? I don’t know enough to know. He might just be a bad supervisor. But, that’s not the point. I’ve learned many lessons with previous employers. The two main lessons:

1) Trust your instincts, when you suspect that someone has the potential to take your work relationship off the rails; and

2) (and I’ve written this a thousand times) DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.

I don’t plan on waiting for things to get much worse before I commit pen to paper to document the type of supervisor I am dealing with. I want to have enough documentation to show a pattern of behavior that started from the very beginning.

I’m working on a project that has strict goals and deadlines. This supervisor has been short staffed. Maybe he’s stressed out and is acting strangely because of that stress. I just met him, so I don’t know if that is or isn’t the case.

All I know is that I’m responsible for myself and my actions. I am not going to allow someone to lie to my face and not document it. I've learned that lesson.

Hopefully, nothing will ever have to be done with my documentation because this behavior will prove to be atypical of how this supervisor normally conducts himself.

But, if it doesn’t improve and if it gets worse, I will be able to state my case, prove the instructions I received, and defend my reputation.

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING from the very beginning. Write things down, while your memory is fresh.