Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Who Can Say (or ask) What in the Workplace?

Ever since the Don Imus incident, White people are acting like they’re completely clueless, when it comes to knowing what is and isn’t okay to say to and about Black people.

Articles and news segments featured titles like, Who Can Say What? As if there was some possible scenario by which Don Imus and company could call Black women Jiggaboos, nappy-headed hos, and hardcore hos. Let me be perfectly clear, there was never such a scenario. And, all of this feigned desired to really understand what’s okay to say to and about Black people is starting to really get on my nerves.

It’s almost as if the issue is about Blacks being so-called ultra-sensitive and not about the crude remarks that were made. People are acting like Blacks blew the racist comments out of proportion. Oh, can’t you people take a joke?

But, isn’t that one of our age-old stereotypes? Yes, Blacks have long been painted as hypersensitive. On top of that, we’ve also been painted as child-like and intellectually inferior. Therefore, when you combine that nasty triad of stereotypes, you can see how some White people are convinced that Blacks—and not Don Imus and his cronies—are the issue to be addressed.

And, so we now have this huge focus on rap music. However, the natural offshoot of the Don Imus incident would have been to target other radio personalities like Rush Limbaugh, etc. No, Whites weren’t going to have another White person fall on their sword, like Don Imus. So, they did the bait and switch and Blacks fell for it. Whether rap music deserves to be cleaned up or not—and I think it does—that was not the logical discussion to have following the Don Imus incident. The logical discussion was to continue to discuss these so-called shock-jocks and to clean up that “business” FIRST!!

I’ve said it before, Don Imus WAS AT WORK, when he made his comments. He had a job. He wasn’t just sitting on the airwaves completely freelancing. Don Imus had an employer. Too many Whites are acting like he was a rogue personality with no responsibilities to anyone else—or to society, as a whole.

I believe 100% that the termination of Don Imus is being greeted with this passive aggressive retaliation from many Whites. It’s like their attitude is “You took down one of ours, now we’re going to take down some of yours!” Rap music is the new target of Whites and the excuse is that rap music is misogynistic and degrades Black women. Oh, that’s what really has Whites riled up, huh? Degrading Black women in rap music, which led to Don Imus being terminated? Really? At least 80% of rap/hip-hop is purchased by Whites, but now that Don Imus is temporarily out of job, it’s a problem!

But, that’s how some Whites deal with racism in the workplace—and that’s where it happened with Don Imus. Some Whites will come up with any defense, when another White person (or some other non-Black person) is accused of making racially insensitive comments, using racial epithets or engaging in discriminatory or other race-based illegal behavior.

Who can say what?

Well, there’s a recent news story in New York where several NYPD sergeants and police officers called 4 Black female cops “nappy-headed hos” and told them to “stand up hos” at the police roll call. This is after Don Imus and his crew made the comments and after the subsequent fallout. So, I ask…is there really a question as to who can say what? REALLY?

Is the issue possibly that people sometimes WANT to say racist, demeaning, degrading, and other nasty things in the workplace, simply because they CHOOSE to and not because they so-called thought it was funny? That’s how people try to get away with offensive comments. They think if they pretend it was a joke, the person the joke was on is somehow supposed to be at fault for finding no humor in the remark. It’s an old technique, but it’s still used in the workplace. “I didn’t mean it that way!” “She’s/he’s just sensitive.” “She/he can’t take a joke.”

Can anyone be that stupid? No! Most times these aren’t harmless remarks. People know exactly what they are saying. They may be shocked that a person challenges their remarks and confronts them about exactly what they meant, but the person making racist or degrading comments knows full well the intent of their remarks. But, some people in the workplace continue to pretend that the issue is just sensitive Black folks.

Who can say what? Let me break down the workplace answer for White folks…

Blacks don’t come to work just dying to deal with your race-based jokes and ignorant race-based questions and comments. We’re not chomping at the bit waiting for you to ask us about Kwanzaa, Malcolm X, the “ghetto,” single parenthood, welfare, hair texture, pig feet and “soul food,” hair grease, teen pregnancy rates, etc.

If all you can do is approach Blacks with race-based commentary, please recognize your issue. Why can’t you speak to us like the humans that we are? Why do some White coworkers have to make everything about our race? We don’t come to work for that bulls*it! And, we don’t come as the spokespersons for all Black people. We have different viewpoints and opinions.

Who can say what or ask what? Not even dealing with discriminatory actions and just speech, here are some common sense tips:

-- Don’t express extreme shock, when your Black coworkers don’t fall into your ignorant stereotypes! Don’t marvel at a Black coworker being articulate or writing well or having a college degree, etc. There is no reason for your amazement at these things!

-- Don’t force your stereotypical beliefs onto Black coworkers. Don’t automatically go for racially-loaded language—that you wouldn’t use to describe a White coworker showing the same behavior or making the same comments as Black coworkers. Don’t be in a rush to call a Black worker lazy, angry, defensive, rude, mean, stupid, etc. Blacks have not cornered the market on any of that. If you mainly use reserve your nastiest remarks for Black coworkers, you have issues.

-- Don’t sing rap or R&B songs ONLY when you are approaching a Black coworker or are working in their office. We are not going to think you are “cool” because you know the words to “Black music.” If you don’t do this to White coworkers, don’t do it to us.

--Don’t ask ignorant questions! You know what’s ignorant. Don’t pretend to be stupid. Why do you have to ask Black coworkers if their silk is real silk, if their leather is real leather, if they can get a tan, if they’ve been shot at, if they know any rappers, etc?

-- Don’t walk into an office or conference room predominated by Blacks and say that you “came to crack the whip!” And, don’t make the actual whip-cracking sound.

-- Don’t ask Black coworkers if they’ve ever seen someone get shot, killed or if they were ever caught in a drive-by shooting!

-- Don’t ask Black coworkers if they have a father. Doesn’t everyone?

-- Don’t ask Black coworkers if they “live in a nice neighborhood.” Clearly, you’d be making negative assumptions!

-- Don’t ask Black coworkers to denounce Black public figures, leaders or celebrities. We don’t have to tell you what we think about O.J. Simpson or anyone else!

-- Don’t ask Black coworkers why Blacks “can’t get over slavery.” What a dumb question. And, it’s a completely inappropriate discussion for the workplace.

The list of who go on and on! But, let’s see what you have to say. Post your comments.

What do you think about “Who Can Say What?” and what do you think is off-limits in the workplace regarding race-based conversations, etc.?

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